I am a non-apologetic Harry Potter fan. I’ve been through the book series three times and have seen all the movies at least once. When and if I get to Orlando, the Harry Potter stuff is on the top of my list.

So, I’m giving myself a license to make fun of a thing or two in Ms. Rowling’s universe—all in good fun, of course.

In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the school year starts with one big change. The Tri-Wizard Tournament has risen from the ashes and will be hosted by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

We will not be playing Quidditch this year.

%!*?’%3^#*())???!!!

Say WHAT?!

No Quidditch.
The game loved by non-muggles throughout the world. The game that has school teams and professional teams all over the witch and wizard universe; the game that inspires so much interest and fervor for three years of Harry Potter—will not be played? So that four kids can go on a mission every three months? Are you freaking kidding me?

Here is how this would play out in the real world.

“Hello and welcome, New York Yankee fans. I’m sure that you’re looking forward to a new baseball season—and eighteen games against our rival Boston Red Sox. However, I must inform you that this season of Major League Baseball is being cancelled in order to bring you the Tri-Wizard Tournament.”

“Faculty and students—welcome to the University of Notre Dame. From Knute Rockne to ‘Rudy’, this venerable institution has served as a bastion of greatness for decades. This year, however, our football season will be replaced by the Tri-Wizard Tournament.”

“Students and faculty of the great University of Kentucky, welcome. Congratulations on yet another trip—deep into the NCAA basketball tournament. I could not be more proud of our boys and the student body that supports them. This season, we will be suspending the basketball season in lieu of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.”

I could go on. But I won’t.
Be well, my friends.